Smashing Pumpkins

Sometimes I like to prove to myself that I am capable of things only bored suburban housewives can do — such as carving out tiny pumpkins I chance upon in the Park ‘n’ Shop. Surprisingly, I have carving capabilities.

Staring at that gaping, yellow void, I decided to fill it with pasta from the pumpkin remains as well as a few turkey bits I had left in the fridge (in Thanksgiving spirit? Why am I celebrating it? I’m not American). The result was pretty delicious — at least, the neighbor’s tabby cat thought so.

This recipe is based on one by Rachel Ray.

Smashing Pumpkin Pasta
The innards of a small, murdered pumpkin
1 cup turkey bits or Italian sausage (or both, housewives like them meaty)
1/4 cup whipped cream cheese
4 cloves garlic, chopped
1 medium onion, finely chopped
3 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
1 cup white wine
1/4 cup garlic Jack cheese cubes (or Gouda)
1/4 pack of fettuccine
Chopped parsley
Salt, pepper


  • Heat olive oil in pan and toss in the turkey bits. Fry until brown. Remove from pan and place in bowl. Set aside.
  • In same oil and pan, saute garlic and onions until soft. Then stir in pumpkin and white wine. Reduce mixture until thick and wait for pumpkin to soften. Stir in cream cheese until fully melted and then toss in the meat. Season with salt and pepper.
  • Cut Jack cheese into smaller cubes and place in until melted. Set mixture aside.
  •  Cook pasta to al dente, drain and combine noodles and sauce.
  • Try to stuff pasta into tiny pumpkin hole. Serve hot and with cold, cold beer.



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