Low Gear

1. Having an as yet undiagnosed disease. Woke up (at 6.30 a.m.!) with an itchy throat, a slight fever, and later started aching around the torso and the temples. Follow that up with a runny nose. (Swine flu? The lovely laid-back people at our company clinic didn’t think so.)

2. Working when you know you’re sick. It’s downright stupid, but you do it anyway. Okay, bee. I am a workaholic.

3. On the cab ride to the office, my chatty driver started lecturing me on the benefits of masturbation. The topic was so randomly introduced (he claims a beautiful passenger asked him point-blank if he jacks off*), that I think his descriptions of the various ways women can pleasure themselves was solely for his benefit. He seemed turned on as he was describing this. I felt so harassed. (Plate number saved for future reference.)

*Personally, I don’t think you should ask your cab driver if he masturbates. It’s just so wrong. I mean, obviously the answer is that probably all men do it in-

High Gear

1. Knowing you are loved.

2. Being let in on juicy office gossip and grudges. By your bosses, no less. I am so naive.

3. Happy Birthday Rey and Ate Cecille! We must raid a gay bar and see if Filipino pricks really do point north all the time.

4. Lastly, after three tries, and no fixers, I finally got my driver’s license. I drove (DROVE!) an old stuffy Lancer with sticky gear shifts, and didn’t mess up despite not having driven for almost a year. It’s like riding a bike, you never forget. Take that, Spongebob. I am ready to hit somebody!!

To LTO San Juan’s credit, there were less fixers around. And even if they overshot the promised 3.5 hour processing time by a mile, at least they actually want to make sure that you know how to drive.

I am sick as hell, but I am happy.


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